<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>tell me how to feel about you now by seaunicorn</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23390233">tell me how to feel about you now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaunicorn/pseuds/seaunicorn'>seaunicorn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, canon typical homophobia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:48:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23390233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaunicorn/pseuds/seaunicorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alyssa and her mother finally talk after prom. It’s a long road ahead for Mrs. Greene.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This has been in my drafts for almost a year because I lost track of where I was going with it but I finally decided to post as the first part of something that will hopefully be continued in the future. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll talk tonight.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa had almost forgotten her mother’s words through the night’s festivities.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, there was no weight on her shoulders.  She didn’t have to hide in fear. She was free to just kiss her girlfriend whenever she wanted.  Which she did. A lot. They danced the whole night, just like they wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the party couldn’t last forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gradually, the guests from all over Indiana trickled out and the DJ started to pack up, and soon it was just Emma and Alyssa, holding each other close, swaying to the sound of speakers rolling out of the gym’s hardwood floor.  Eventually the custodial staff came in to clean up the room after the prom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa closed her eyes as she rested her forehead against Emma’s, not wanting this night to end, not wanting to get back to reality and face whatever consequences awaited after coming out to her mother in front of the whole school.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want me to drive you home?” Emma asked, her face pressed against Alyssa’s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa sighed.  “I wish we could just stay here forever.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe she’ll be asleep?”  Alyssa appreciated Emma’s optimism, but unfortunately, she did not feel the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma stepped away, ending their embrace, and Alyssa frowned.  After kissing the pout from her lips, she took Alyssa’s hand and intertwined their fingers.  “Come on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa reluctantly followed as Emma dragged her off the abandoned dance floor and into the parking lot, clinging to her hand like a lifeline.  They stopped at the passenger door of Emma’s truck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could take you to my house instead,” Emma suggested, hesitantly.  “I’m sure gran won’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa shook her head.  “No, I have to talk to her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a nod, Emma opened the passenger door and helped Alyssa inside the truck, closing the door behind her.  She then went around to the driver’s seat and climbed inside herself. As soon as she was buckled in and ready to go, before Emma drove off, she reached over the center console and grasped Alyssa’s hand tight.  She didn’t let go the entire drive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa’s thoughts were racing through her brain faster than she could keep track of them.  What was her mother going to say? What would Alyssa even say to her? Did she even have the potential to change or would this be a fruitless endeavor?  Would she be kept under an even tighter leash or simply kicked out like Emma, and which would be worse?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Alyssa’s thoughts spiraled, her anxiety swelled as well.  She was sure her hand was like a vice, clinging to her girlfriend’s, but Emma’s thumb began to rub circles on the back of her hand, and Alyssa felt like maybe she wouldn’t burst into tears if she just focused on that simple touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Emma pulled up outside the Greene household, all Alyssa could see was the bright light shining through the living room window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”  Emma gently squeezed Alyssa’s hand to get her attention.  “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa nodded distantly and let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding.  “Will you stay out here for a bit?” she asked. “Just in case.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” was Emma’s immediate reply.  “Whatever you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa’s heart surged with affection for her girlfriend; Emma was always so supportive and so loving.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>How did I get so lucky?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Alyssa leaned across the car and kissed Emma, bringing a hand up to touch her cheek.  She just wanted one last moment of this perfect night to cling to, before leaving the security of Emma’s car to face reality—and her mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll text you,” Alyssa said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of the truck.  She steeled herself as she walked up to the front door and fished her house keys out of her purse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa’s hands were shaking as she turned the key in the lock and stepped inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entryway was dark.  Alyssa moved further into the house and found her mother in the living room, perched on the armchair she usually liked to read in.  There was a book on her lap, but Alyssa could see that she was still on the first page.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Alyssa stepped into the living room to join her, she stopped when her mother said, “Alyssa, sweetie, take off your shoes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wordlessly, Alyssa walked back to the door, kicked off her shoes, then padded barefoot back to the living room.  She sat on the couch across the room, facing her mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have a good night?”  Her voice sounded a bit stoic, distant.  Alyssa couldn’t get a read on her. She had no idea how this would play out.  She simply nodded in response. “Do you want some tea?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay, thanks—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ll make some tea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa watched as her mom suddenly stood up.  The book tumbled from her lap and onto the floor, forgotten.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa huffed and slunk down into the couch as her mother made a beeline through the room to the kitchen.  Cupboards thudded open and shut, and pots clanged as her mother gathered what she needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” she started, filling up the tea kettle with water, “what else did you have to say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa frowned, confused.  “What do you mean?” she asked. </span>
  <em>
    <span> “You</span>
  </em>
  <span> were the one who said we would talk later.  I thought you wanted to—to ask questions or apologize or—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you seemed to have a lot to say earlier. In front of the whole school.”  Her mother sighed, as she turned on the heat and placed the kettle on the stove.  “I just don’t understand where this is coming from.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa rolled her eyes.  “Don’t do that. Don’t act so shocked when I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> you knew.  I tried to come out to you so many times before today and you shut me down every time.  You just didn’t want to hear what you knew I had to say.” Alyssa glanced into the kitchen where her mother stood, facing away from her, hands gripping the counter, saying nothing.  “Mom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She startled, then turned around to face Alyssa, leaning her back against the counter.  “I had my suspicions,” she admitted, voice quiet and shaking slightly. “Then your friends told me they saw you with </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>… and I knew I was right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“She</span>
  </em>
  <span> has a name,” Alyssa snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alyssa, watch your tone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa could feel the rage boiling inside her.  This was what her mother always did, she wasn’t sure why she expected any different.  She clenched her fists but exhaled slowly to calm herself. “Her name is Emma, mom. You know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” her mother sighed and walked back to the living room.  Alyssa tensed as she sat down next to her on the couch. “I also know how many problems she’s faced because she’s… </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay.” </span>
  </em>
  <span> She still said the word like it was gum stuck to the sole of her shoe.  “I don’t want that for you. I just want you to have a normal, easy life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa felt her mother’s hand on her knee, maybe some attempt at reassurance or comfort, but she flinched away.  She stood up from the couch and moved to the far corner of the room, pacing back and forth. “You do realize </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ve</span>
  </em>
  <span> been the cause of all her problems, right?  If you hadn’t cancelled the prom or planned that </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> fake one—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She would still be living with her grandmother.”  Alyssa froze as her mom interrupted. The room grew still.  “Her parents did that to her. Not me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you would never do that to your own daughter, right mom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother hesitated, just for a moment, but as soon as she opened her mouth to reply, the tea kettle began to whistle loudly from the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She hesitated</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa had her answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As her mother returned to the kitchen to remove the kettle from the stove, Alyssa rushed to the front door to put her shoes on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alyssa, where do you think you’re going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want me here, that’s fine.  I’m going to stay with Emma and her grandma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never said that—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s what you didn’t say.”  Alyssa stood up after tying her shoes to find her mother hovering in front of her in the entryway, clutching her chest.  She looked shocked, almost offended, even though she had no right to be. Alyssa glared. “Great talk, mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She barged out the door, slamming it shut behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa stormed down the driveway to where Emma sat in her truck, still waiting.  With each step, Alyssa felt her anger dissipate into fear, sadness, hopelessness.  By the time she reached the truck, she could barely hold herself together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa clumsily clambered into the passenger seat and broke down in tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately, Emma’s arms were around her.  Alyssa held onto Emma, clutching her jacket tight as she sobbed.  Emma just sat there, stroking her hair and letting her cry. She held her close until Alyssa felt herself beginning to calm down, until her eyes were too dry to cry anymore tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa shook her head, still buried in Emma’s arms.  “Just take me home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt Emma’s lips on her forehead in a soft kiss before she pulled away and wordlessly started the engine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive back to Emma’s house was quiet, save for the Muse cassette tape that played, the only music that Emma had in her car.  Alyssa was exhausted. By the time they got back to the house, she was dozing off against the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baby?” Emma whispered, nudging Alyssa gently when she stopped the car.  “Come on, let’s get inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa was too tired to do anything but follow Emma into the house and back to her bedroom.  She blindly accepted the pajamas that Emma shoved into her arms and went to the bathroom to change into the oversized t-shirt and flannel pajama pants.  She washed the makeup from her face and let her hair down, and Emma brought out a new toothbrush for her to use.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Alyssa collapsed into Emma’s bed, exhausted.  Her eyes were closed and the lights were off, but she heard Emma pattering around the room for a few more minutes.  She was about to fall asleep again when she heard the bedroom door open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa opened her eyes to see Emma clutching a pillow and about to walk out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” Alyssa mumbled, rolling over closer to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma sighed.  “I didn’t want to wake you.  I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight, you take the bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gran has a very clear open-door, no sleepovers policy,” Emma explained.  “Sucks, but I guess it’s nice she treats me like a normal teenager.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa wasn’t sure she would get through the night without Emma by her side.  After her conversation with her mother, she felt so helpless and alone. All Alyssa wanted was for her girlfriend to hold her and tell her everything would be okay.  “Please stay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma rocked back and forth on her feet, contemplating, until eventually she sighed.  “I guess… gran will understand,” she muttered. “I’ll leave the door open so she doesn’t get too mad.”  She stepped away from the door, leaving it wide open, and slid into bed next to Alyssa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had cuddled together before, many times, but there was something different, more intimate, about falling asleep together, sharing a bed. The moment Emma was in bed with her, Alyssa wormed into her arms.  Emma held her close and Alyssa’s head found purchase to rest on Emma’s chest. Emma’s fingers ran through her hair, brushing through the locks, like a soothing rhythm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a long and emotionally exhausting day, but eventually Alyssa fell asleep in the arms of the girl she loved, listening to the steady beat of her heart like a lullaby.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The last time Veronica Greene felt so helpless was the day her husband left her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now, watching her only daughter, her baby girl, walk out the door, unable to stop her, she felt that heartbreak all over again, only somehow worse this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took longer than she would like to admit to compose herself.  She didn’t know how long she stood frozen in the entryway, staring at the door that her daughter had walked out of. The same door her husband disappeared through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa was gone and she didn’t know what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her phone chimed with a text message, and she realized, </span>
  <em>
    <span>your phone!</span>
  </em>
  <span>  She rushed to the living room, where she had set her phone on the coffee table and called Alyssa.  As the line rang, she held her breath, but soon she heard a buzzing from the couch. She went to inspect and found a phone between the couch cushions.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alyssa’s cell phone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Veronica didn’t know what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She went to the kitchen, where the tea kettle had now been sitting on the counter for so long, untouched, that the water had gone tepid.  She dumped it down the sink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could Alyssa think she didn’t want her here?  Sure, she could be hard on her daughter sometimes, but she just wanted the very best for Alyssa.  That’s why she pushed her. That’s why she didn’t want her to have any problems or hardships. She could have gone after her, but Alyssa was so hurt as she stormed off, that going after might have just made things worse.  And now Alyssa was gone and she couldn’t even reach her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, Veronica realized—the phone book!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She dug through the kitchen drawers, searching for the old Edgewater phone book that she hadn’t touched in ages, finally finding it at the back of a drawer, covered in dust.  She just hoped Betsy Nolan hadn’t gotten rid of her landline.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veronica punched in the number and the line rang a few times before a groggy voice answered, “Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Betsy?  It’s Mrs. Greene—um—Veronica.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, there was only silence.  Then, “Do you have any idea what time it is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veronica wasn’t even sure how long it had been since Alyssa stormed out the door.  “No,” she answered honestly. After a frustrated sigh from Betsy, she added, “Look, Alyssa is there tonight.  I just want to make sure she’s okay. She—well, she left pretty quickly and forgot her phone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was another pause from the other line, but eventually she heard the creak of an old mattress and the shuffling of feet across the floor.  Veronica held her breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Betsy whispered, “She’s fine.  Asleep.” Another pause as Veronica let out a relieved breath.  “Did something happen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veronica frowned.  “We tried to talk tonight, and… it did not go very well.”  Betsy said nothing, so she continued. “I never wanted her to leave.  Believe it or not, but I do actually care about my daughter very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t sure why Betsy’s silence gave her so much anxiety.  She wasn’t sure how long it was before the other woman spoke up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe you,” Betsy muttered.  “If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have called.”  Veronica heard a door close, and the same shuffling sound as Betsy walked elsewhere.  When she spoke again, she still whispered but her voice wasn’t as quiet. “Emma’s been with me almost two years and her parents still haven’t called me to ask how she’s doing. The only time they ever reached out was when they heard about the prom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Veronica was surprised by this.  She had never considered that Emma’s parents simply didn’t care.  They didn’t even want to know how their daughter was doing. She couldn’t even imagine not speaking to Alyssa for two years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She must have stayed quiet for too long because Betsy spoke again.  “I’ll ask Alyssa to call you tomorrow. Now try to get some sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Betsy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The line clicked to an end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Barry Glickman’s voice rang in her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you don’t let her be who she is, you’re going to lose her.  You’re going to lose your daughter.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As annoying as the Broadway star was, he was right.  Veronica Greene vowed then and there that she was not going to lose her daughter.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>For a moment, when Alyssa woke, everything was perfect.  She felt safe, snuggled under the blankets and Emma’s warm arms wrapped around her.  They had shifted in the night so that Alyssa was on her side and Emma’s arms were around her waist, spooning her from behind.  Emma’s body was warm and comfortable, and she didn’t even mind the soft snores in her ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa never wanted to leave this bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled over to her other side to face Emma, who stirred slightly.  “Hmm?” she mumbled sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa admired the curve of Emma’s nose, and the smudged makeup on her closed eyelids, and the way her lips curved into a small frown in her sleep.  Alyssa gave her a soft kiss on the nose. “Good morning, beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“G’morg…”  Emma’s nose scrunched and she rolled onto her stomach, pressing her face into a pillow, and passing out again, snoring even louder than before.  Alyssa chuckled softly. She really loved this girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa remembered why she was here, of course, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate the little joys of waking up in Emma’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa climbed out of bed carefully, trying not to disturb Emma.  The clock on the wall read six forty five in the morning. Alyssa was wide awake, but Emma deserved to sleep in a little.  She reached for her phone on the bedside table instinctively, only to realize it wasn’t there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa searched the room to no avail; she must have dropped at home before she rushed out the door.  Great.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to disturb Emma any further, Alyssa opened the bedroom door—</span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t they leave it open the night before?—</span>
  </em>
  <span>and walked out to the kitchen for a glass of water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was surprised to find Emma’s grandmother already awake, puttering around the kitchen, a bowl of some mixture on the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mrs. Nolan,” Alyssa said, leaning against the fridge.  “I didn’t know you were up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many times do I have to tell you, dear?  Call me Betsy or gran. None of this </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mrs. Nolan</span>
  </em>
  <span> nonsense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa smiled.  “I just came for some water.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help yourself, honey,” Betsy said.  “But since you’re up, would you mind helping me with these pancakes?  I figured you girls could use a nice breakfast after a long night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”  Alyssa grabbed her favorite mug from the cabinet, decorated with a rainbow, and poured herself some water from the fridge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you could just help me mix this batter together while I get the bacon started, I’d appreciate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Betsy handed Alyssa a wooden spoon and they got to work.  It was easy, mindless work, and Alyssa enjoyed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want blueberries or chocolate chips?” Betsy asked from the pantry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa thought for a moment.  “Chocolate chips.” She knew Emma always woke up with a sweet tooth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Betsy emerged with a small bag of chocolate chips, and the contents were dumped into the mixture.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They worked in silence for some time, and after the bacon was in the oven, Betsy had Alyssa help pour the batter into the pan as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, your mother called pretty late last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa froze where she was, scooping up more pancake batter.  “She did?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Betsy nodded, taking the bowl from Alyssa’s hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did she say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She just asked how you were doing.”  Betsy took over, and poured another scoop of pancake batter into the pan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it was two in the morning, so you were asleep.  I told her as much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa nodded.  She grabbed a paper towel and busied herself with cleaning up some of the flour and batter that had spilled on the counter.  She didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, Betsy spoke up again.  “I think you should call her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa frowned.  What more could her mother possibly have to say to her?  Even briefly contemplating the idea of kicking her out of the house was too much for Alyssa’s heart to handle.  That’s why she </span>
  <em>
    <span>left</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But if there was one adult she trusted without hesitation, it was Betsy Nolan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s how Alyssa found herself, ten minutes later, sitting in the living room.  Betsy’s landline was clutched in her hand as she willed herself to type in her mother’s phone number.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smell of bacon was just beginning to waft through the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa took a deep breath and hit the call button.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The line trilled only once before it clicked and her mother’s voice came through, sounding ever so slightly panicked.  “Alyssa, sweetie, is that you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She heard her mother breathe out a sigh.  “How are you? Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice.  Are you all right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom, enough,” Alyssa said sharply, interrupting her mother.  “I’m only calling because Mrs. Nolan asked me to. What do you have to say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, and then two words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was not what Alyssa expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W—what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey, I would never kick you out of the house.  Ever. I’m so sorry I made you think that I would.”  Alyssa’s brain had short-circuited and was still rebooting from hearing the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span> come from her mother’s mouth.  She could feel every beat of her own heart as her mother’s words washed over her.  “Now, I’m not perfect. I know that. But everything I do is for you, Alyssa. I can’t say that I understand any of this, but I want to try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alyssa.exe has stopped working.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa was having trouble physically comprehending the words her mother was saying.  It was like she heard them, but they didn’t make sense coming from her mother. Because it was her </span>
  <em>
    <span>mother</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t promise it will be easy, but I’m going to do my best.  Now, will you please come home?” She sounded desperate, close to tears.  Her mother </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa was frozen, gaping, and her eyes filled with tears.  She didn’t know what to do, or say. How does one even react to their homophobic mother suddenly </span>
  <em>
    <span>apologizing</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma wandered into the living room, hair rumpled, rubbing her eyes.  “Do you smell bacon?” she asked through a yawn. Betsy quickly grabbed her by the sleeve and dragged her into the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Alyssa remembered why she was even in this situation in the first place.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Emma.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Everything she did was for Emma.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa wasn’t the only person who was hurt by her mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll come home,” Alyssa started, “but only if you apologize to Emma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pause on the line, and Alyssa began to panic, but soon her mother’s answer quelled her fears.  “Of course,” her mom said. “Whatever you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa blinked away the tears that threatened to spill and cleared her throat.  “Okay,” she muttered. “I’ll have her drop me off later, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Alyssa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa sighed.  “I know, mom.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Alyssa didn’t have any clothes at Emma’s house besides the dress she had worn to prom the night before, so she ended up borrowing some clothes from Emma.  She found a pair of black sweats and a blue flannel shirt whose sleeves were just slightly too long for her arms. Alyssa had to keep pushing them up past her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should wear my clothes more often,” Emma said from where she was perched on the bed, watching as Alyssa rolled up the sleeves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that everyone knows we’re together, maybe I can.”  Alyssa leaned over Emma on the bed, trapping her under her arms and kissed her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma giggled into the kiss, arms wrapping around her waist.  She gave a soft tug and Alyssa lost her balance, falling forward and landing on top of her girlfriend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma gave her a guilty grin, and Alyssa kissed her again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa didn’t think she would ever get tired of kissing Emma.  She tilted her head and captured Emma’s bottom lip between her own, and Emma’s contented sigh was music to her ears.  She pulled away and kissed Emma’s cheeks, her jaw, and brushed Emma’s hair out of the so her lips could find purchase on Emma’s neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t often that they kissed like this, but Alyssa couldn’t get enough of Emma squirming beneath her, heavy breaths in her ear, fingers weaving into her hair and tugging softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a knock at the bedroom door and in Alyssa’s attempt to fling herself from the situation before it opened half a second later, she ended up on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You girls almost ready to go?” Betsy asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma and Alyssa responded at exactly the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh-huh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Betsy raised an eyebrow at them, and Alyssa’s cheeks flushed red.  Betsy Nolan was a smart woman and she knew exactly what she had just interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just give us a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right.”  Betsy pushed the door open a little wider and walked back down the hall to the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa looked up on the bed and chuckled.  Emma was still lying flat on her back, but quickly rolled over, buried her face in her hands, and groaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t that sorry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa picked herself up off the floor and sat on the edge of the bed.  She reached out and put a hand on Emma’s back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Emma choked out.  “Just give me a minute to get over the embarrassment, and, uhh, other stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa put on her shoes, giving Emma a moment to compose herself.  Eventually, Emma sat up. She tried to glare at Alyssa, but she couldn’t manage anything more seething than mildly annoyed and full of love.  “You’re cute when you try to be mad at me,” Alyssa laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Emma grumbled as she climbed off the bed and tried to find her shoes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” she said again, more genuine this time.  “I guess I’m just trying not to think about going to face my mom again.  You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, it was a stupid idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No—no, it was sweet.”  Emma sat down next to Alyssa on the bed and put a hand on her knee.  (She had only found one shoe so far, clutched in her other hand). “I know you’re just looking out for me.  And I know this is important to you. Just because my family’s fucked up, doesn’t mean yours can’t be salvaged.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But she was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful</span>
  </em>
  <span> to you!  I know I want her to apologize, but you don’t owe her anything. You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not doing it for her.  I’m doing it for you.” Alyssa’s eyes fluttered closed as Emma leaned in and kissed her softly.  “Now help me find my other shoe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later after they found Emma’s shoe, the two of them piled into Emma’s truck, with Betsy in the backseat.  She had insisted on coming as moral support for both girls. Alyssa appreciated it. Emma’s parents may be the worst, but Betsy cared about so much more than her parents ever did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Emma asked, glancing over at Alyssa as she drove.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think so.”  Alyssa really wasn’t sure how she felt, or what to expect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they pulled up to the house, Alyssa saw her mother sitting absently on the porch.  Betsy must have told her when they were coming. When she saw them arrive, she stood and walked down the driveway to meet them at the curb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa got out of the car first, quickly followed by Emma and Betsy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Alyssa,” her mother rushed forward to hug her.  Alyssa let her, but she didn’t return the embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom,” Alyssa muttered, pulling away.  “Don’t you have something to say to Emma?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” she said softly, then turned to Emma.  Emma suddenly appeared much more nervous than she had in the car, bouncing on the balls of her feet, looking at the ground.  Her hands were shaking. Alyssa stepped toward her and grabbed her hand. She noticed her mother’s lip twitch as she looked down at their joined hands, but made no comment.  Alyssa felt like she was going to throw up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Emma,” her mother said.  “I wanted to… apologize. I hurt someone that my daughter cares for and I can’t take that back.  So… I am sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma’s grip was probably tight enough to stop the blood from circulating to Alyssa’s fingertips.  She didn’t look up at Alyssa’s mother, but she muttered, “Thank you for saying that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a beat, while her mother watched Emma, while Emma stared at her shoes, and Alyssa looked back and forth between the two as no words were spoken.  Then, Alyssa watched as her mom turned to Betsy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Veronica,” Betsy said.  She put a hand on her granddaughter’s shoulder and squeezed.  Alyssa felt Emma relax slightly next to her, and her grip loosened just a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for looking out for my daughter, Betsy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my pleasure,” Betsy said with a smile.  “Alyssa’s a great girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, she turned to Alyssa.  “Honey, are we good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa pursed her lips and nodded slowly.  “Yeah,” she said. “For now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” she muttered.  “Um, are you hungry? I have… sandwiches and— and potato salad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”  Alyssa’s mother turned to walk back up to the house.  “I’ll just be a second.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa dropped Emma’s hand and walked up to Betsy.  She threw her arms around her for a hug. Betsy squeezed her so tight, Alyssa thought she was going to get the wind knocked out of her.  For an older woman, she sure was strong. “Thank you, Betsy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you’re welcome with us anytime, Alyssa dear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Betsy squeezed her arms as their embrace ended, and she went back into the truck, sitting in the passenger seat.  Alyssa turned her attention to Emma.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma’s eyes were shining with tears.  “Hey,” Alyssa whispered. “I’ll be okay.  I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma looked down at her feet and wiped her eyes, bumping her glasses out of the way.  “I know you will. I don’t know why I’m crying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have every right not to trust her,” Alyssa said.  “She was horrible to you. I get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you trust her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa shrugged.  “She’s my mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma was clearly not satisfied with her answer, but Alyssa didn’t know what else she could say.  Alyssa herself wasn’t even sure if she was making the right decision. This could ultimately lead to major heartbreak and disappointment, but who would Alyssa be if she didn’t try?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll call you tonight, okay?”  Emma nodded. “And I’ll see you at school on Monday.”  Emma nodded again. “I love you so much.” Alyssa didn’t want to kiss Emma while her mother was watching, not after the look on her face when all she did was hold her hand.  But she wrapped her arms around Emma and held her close, kissing her on the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alyssa walked backwards up the driveway as she waved goodbye to Emma and Betsy.  As soon as the truck drove off, she was left in silence with her mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them knew what to say to each other.  Alyssa spent her time walking on eggshells, trying to not upset her mom too much with anything she said, and from what she could tell, her mother was doing the same thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t perfect.  It was a start, and they had a long road ahead of them.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Veronica takes a small step; she invites Emma and her grandmother to graduation dinner.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dinners in the Greene household were always an awkward affair. Veronica was always so busy that she liked to use the time to catch up with her daughter, but Alyssa always seemed to see it as an interrogation, keeping her answers as brief as possible.</p><p>Ever since the prom incident, Veronica struggled to think of what to say to her daughter, and Alyssa didn’t seem too keen on starting a conversation either.</p><p>Things between them were… not good, exactly, but they weren’t bad either. Veronica didn’t want to do anything to hurt Alyssa, but she was still struggling to understand, well, she wasn’t quite sure what she was trying to understand. Did she want to know <em> why </em> Alyssa was… was gay? Why it was supposedly against God’s will? Why it was so hard for her to come to terms with this even though she was trying her best?</p><p>She felt like she was walking on eggshells, not wanting to say or do anything to jeopardize the already fragile string that held them together while Alyssa still had one foot out the door. So instead, she just didn’t say much at all. Alyssa didn’t seem to complain about it.</p><p>But as Veronica sat across the table from her daughter who stared down at her plate of food, refusing to make eye contact, she knew she needed to do something to show she was making an effort. Sometimes an imperfect first step is wonders better than doing nothing.</p><p>She cleared her throat.  “Alyssa?”</p><p>“Hm?” Alyssa glanced up from her plate and gave her mother a small smile of acknowledgment, but there was nothing behind it.</p><p>“Are you looking forward to graduation this weekend?” she asked.</p><p>“Yes.” Alyssa didn’t bother to elaborate, and returned to her food. She took another bite.</p><p>Veronica took a deep breath.  “I was thinking,” she started, “it might be nice if, after the ceremony, we went out to dinner?”</p><p>“That sounds fine.”</p><p>“Do you think Emma and her grandmother would like to join us?” she asked.</p><p>Alyssa’s movements halted and she slowly looked up to meet her mother’s eyes, searching them for any ulterior motive. “Really?”</p><p>Veronica nodded, hoping Alyssa could see that she was genuine. “Yes,” she said.  “I think I’d like to get to know them a little better.”</p><p>And then Veronica saw something on Alyssa’s face that she hadn’t seen in a very long time: a smile. Not a forced smile when Veronica told her she looked tired, or a fake smile for show when she was out on the field cheerleading. It was small, but it was a real, genuine, hopeful smile.</p><p>It made Veronica’s heart swell with affection and love for her daughter. She could do this.</p><p>“I’ll— I’ll ask Emma at school tomorrow.”</p><p>“Let me know what she says.” Veronica sighed in relief. She would rebuild this relationship, and she had just successfully laid down another brick.</p><hr/><p>Emma and Alyssa didn’t really <em> need </em> to meet in the band closet anymore. Their classmates had mostly come around. Alyssa was happy to be able to sit with Emma in the cafeteria at lunch, or hold her hand in the halls, or give her a quick kiss before class.</p><p>They still received a few sneers, and the first few days still sent anxiety down Alyssa’s spine whenever she was with Emma, but she quickly realized no one was going to act on their ill feelings anymore. At least, not with Shelby glaring daggers at anyone who so much as looked in their direction funny. Despite their new safety to be open at school, sometimes, they just liked the security and comfort they felt in the band closet.</p><p>When Alyssa asked Emma to meet her there for lunch, she had planned on telling her about her mother’s invitation to dinner after graduation, but that thought was swept from her mind the moment Alyssa entered the closet and she found her back pressed against the door and Emma’s lips on her own.</p><p>Emma kissed her with a vigor that she hadn’t in a while; after the excitement from prom had worn off, they had fallen into a routine of holding hands at school and sweet kisses before they parted in the halls. Alyssa had been working on her relationship with her mother and didn’t want to test the waters yet, so they hadn’t had much time to see each other outside of school. She would be lying if she hadn’t missed kissing Emma like this, and who was she to deny her girlfriend?</p><p>Alyssa lost herself. She wasn’t quite sure how long they kissed before she remembered the real reason she had called Emma to the band closet today.</p><p>“Wait,” Alyssa gasped against Emma’s lips. She placed a hand on Emma’s chest and gently pushed her away. “Wait. I wanted to talk to you about something.”</p><p>“Oh!” Emma blushed. “I thought you wanted to… I mean…”</p><p>“I always want to kiss you,” Alyssa said, pressing a chaste kiss to Emma’s lips for emphasis. “But this is important. And then we can get back to the kissing.”</p><p>Emma nodded. She took Alyssa’s hands and led her to the other side of the small room. Emma’s backpack already sat on the ground so Alyssa set hers down next to it. They leaned against the wall and sat on the floor. Emma put an arm around Alyssa’s shoulders. “What did you want to talk about?”</p><p>“My mom.”</p><p>Emma paled.</p><p>“She invited you and Betsy to dinner after graduation.”</p><p>“Oh.” Emma started to close up. She retracted her arm from over Alyssa’s shoulder, crossed her arms, pulled her knees up to her chest.</p><p>“Hey,” Alyssa said softly, “you don’t have to say yes.”</p><p>“But this is important to you, right?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Alyssa sighed. “I dunno. Things have been weird since prom. She hasn’t said anything bad, but this is the first time she’s tried taking an actual step instead of just sitting in tense silence whenever we’re both in the house together.”</p><p>Alyssa held her breath as Emma mulled it over, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. As much as she desperately wanted her mother to make amends with her girlfriend, her first priority was Emma’s comfort, and if she didn’t want to go to dinner with Veronica Greene, Alyssa wouldn’t blame her.</p><p>“Okay,” Emma finally muttered, much to Alyssa’s surprise.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Sure,” Emma repeated with a shrug. “We’ll be in public, right? So she can’t freak out.”</p><p>Alyssa giggled when Emma called it back to a conversation they had before prom. “Yeah, she wants to go out. And she invited Betsy too.”</p><p>“I guess that’s a good sign,” Emma muttered. “I’m sure gran will keep her in check.”</p><p>“I can’t promise it’ll be fine,” Alyssa said. She reached out and grabbed Emma’s hands, pulling them into her lap. Her thumb rubbed Emma’s knuckles reassuringly, and she felt her girlfriend relax next to her. “Honestly, I have no idea what to expect. But if you ever get uncomfortable or want to leave, just say the word and we can go anywhere you want.”</p><p>Emma let out a sigh. She bumped Alyssa’s shoulder and gave her a small smile. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Soo…” Alyssa mused with a dramatic sigh as she wrapped an arm around Emma’s shoulder and tugged her closer. “Where were we?”</p><p>Emma giggled as Alyssa brushed their noses together. “You’re a dork.”</p><p>“But I’m <em> your </em>dork.”</p><p>Emma kissed the giddy grin off Alyssa’s lips.</p><hr/><p>Applebee’s was popping after graduation. Really, it was the only feasible dining option near Edgewater that was under half an hour’s drive away.</p><p>Veronica Greene had no problems procuring a table for their party, to no one’s surprise. Alyssa was tired, sweaty, and exhausted after a long afternoon of sitting out on the James Madison football field in their black graduation gowns. Her hair was a frizzy mess, she was pretty sure the sweat stains on her yellow dress would be impossible to remove no matter how much she washed it, and she was so hungry.</p><p>Then Emma walked up next to her. Their fingers brushed for the briefest moment and Alyssa smiled. She longed to reach out and intertwine their fingers, but Alyssa wasn’t sure if her mother was ready for that much just yet.</p><p>If Alyssa was sweating in a dress, she wasn’t sure how Emma survived the ceremony wearing slacks and a button up. Since they returned their cap and gown, Emma had at least removed her tie and unbuttoned a few buttons and rolled up her sleeves, but the summer heat of Edgewater was unforgiving. She still looked beautiful.</p><p>Emma didn’t seem bothered, though. She was simply happy to be with Alyssa. No matter where they were or who they were with, Emma always had a smile for Alyssa.</p><p>They were seated quickly, Emma and Betsy on one side of the booth with Alyssa and her mother across from them. At least Alyssa was across from Emma.</p><p>“Everybody know what they want to drink?” their server asked, pulling out his order pad.</p><p>“Can I have a strawberry lemonade?” Alyssa asked. Her mother nodded and the order was written down.</p><p>“I’ll take an iced tea,” Veronica said.</p><p>“Just water is fine for me,” Betsy said.</p><p>“Same,” Emma answered quickly. “Water is fine.” She seemed stressed, so Alyssa tapped her ankle with her foot under the table. Emma seemed to relax at the touch and they shared a secret smile.</p><p>Once the waiter returned with their drinks, Betsy cleared her throat.</p><p>“A toast,” she said, “to two brilliant young women who graduated today. I’m so proud of you both. Cheers!”</p><p>Alyssa blushed as she took a sip of her drink. She always felt an affectionate warmth in her chest whenever Betsy treated her like this, like she was important. An “I’m proud of you” from Betsy always meant so much more than it ever had coming from her own mother because she knew Betsy actually meant it. Speaking of her mother…</p><p>“I’m so proud of you, superstar,” Veronica said. Her eyes widened. “Um, and you too, Emma. You’ve both accomplished a lot today. And then it’s off to college!”</p><p>“Are you guys excited to get to New York?” Betsy asked.</p><p>Alyssa nodded unthinkingly, sharing another smile with Emma. She felt like she was forgetting something, but it didn’t seem to matter when Emma looked at her with stars in her eyes like that.</p><p>“You’ll both be in New York?”</p><p>Right. Alyssa never told her mother that she and Emma were both going to college in New York. She paled and turned to her mom.</p><p>“Yeah,” Alyssa muttered. “Emma got into NYU.”</p><p>“And you’ll be at…”</p><p>“Columbia.”</p><p>Mrs. Greene let out a quick breath but she didn’t say anything. The silence at the table was tense. Alyssa exchanged a quick, worried look with Betsy before turning back to her mother.</p><p>“Mom?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“Oh, yes,” Veronica sat up a little straighter and cleared her throat. “I just assumed you two would be going to different places for college. That’s what always happens with high school… relationships.”</p><p>Alyssa glanced at Emma. Well, at least her mom had called it a relationship. She pursed her lips and turned back to her mom. “Emma and I planned it. Our back-up schools were also close to each other.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Nothing!” Veronica said quickly. “I guess I just… I just thought…”</p><p>Alyssa frowned. “What? You thought Emma and I were going to break up? Go our separate ways?”</p><p>“No, that’s not what I—“</p><p>“That’s what it sounded like!” A few glances from patrons at tables nearby reminded Alyssa that they were in a public place so she couldn’t lose her cool, no matter how much she wanted to. Was her mother just dealing with this for now? Did she still think it was just a phase and after she and Emma broke up Alyssa would be the perfect little straight girl again? She clenched her fists and took a deep breath. She continued, her voice hushed, “How could you even think that?”</p><p>“I just… couples that get together in high school rarely stay together. There’s a lot of research backing me up on this, bad breakups, marriages ending in divorce... Things might not work out. I just don’t want you putting all your eggs in one basket and being disappointed <em> if </em>you—“</p><p>“You think we don’t know that?” Alyssa scoffed. “You think we didn’t talk about this? God, mom, it’s not like we’re just casually dating. Emma and I are in a relationship. We’ve been together almost two years. I love her.” She looked across the table at Emma who shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Yeah, maybe things won’t work out. But what’s the point if we don’t even try?”</p><p>“I’m not saying you shouldn’t <em> try, </em>I’m just saying you should fully consider the possibility that—“</p><p>“Oh my god!” Alyssa exclaimed. “Are you even listening to me?” Veronica started to reply but Alyssa cut her off. “No, I-I’m sorry. I’m just gonna… go for a walk. I need some air.”</p><p>Before her mother had a chance to protest, Alyssa stood up from the table and stormed out of the Applebee’s.</p><p>She stepped back out into the sun, into the parking lot, trying to put as much distance between herself and her mother as possible. She walked up to the island in the middle of the parking lot and sat at the curb in the shade of the tree. She buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, then exhaled.</p><p>Alyssa did this a few more times, trying to calm her breathing, until she heard footsteps in the parking lot that had followed her.</p><p>“I don’t want to talk right now, mom,” she sighed.</p><p>“We don’t have to talk.”</p><p>Alyssa’s head shot up. It wasn’t her mom that had followed her, but Emma. She sighed in relief and held out her arms. Emma immediately sat down next to her and enveloped her in a hug.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Alyssa murmured into her shoulder.</p><p>Emma’s hands held her back, stroked her hair, calming her down. “It’s not your fault.”</p><p>“Are you and Betsy leaving?” Alyssa asked. “I won’t blame you if you do.”</p><p>Emma shook her head. “No,” she said softly. “Gran’s actually talking to your mom inside right now. I think everybody just needs a few minutes to cool down. We can just sit out here for a little bit. I’m here.”</p><p>Alyssa pulled back a little but stayed in Emma’s arms. She wiped at the stray tears that had fallen from her eyes. Emma’s hair tousled in the summer breeze, and her bright eyes were full of love and concern. She brought up a hand to Alyssa’s cheek and swiped at the tears there.</p><p>“What did I do to deserve you?” Alyssa sighed. Her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into the gentle brush of her thumb.</p><p>Emma gave her a small smile. “I ask myself the same thing every day.”</p><p>Alyssa leaned in and kissed Emma softly. Emma’s grip tightened on her cheek, and they traded sweet kisses for a moment, comforted by the gentle press of lips, the soft sighs that escaped. After a moment, they both pulled away and pressed their foreheads together.</p><p>“I love you,” Alyssa whispered.</p><p>“You taste like strawberries,” Emma mused. She had a look of serious concentration on her face. Alyssa stared at her for a moment, then laughed, pulling her in for another quick kiss. “I love you too,” Emma muttered against her lips, “if that wasn’t clear.”</p><p>Alyssa smiled, wrapping her arms around Emma’s neck. Their noses brushed together. After a moment, Alyssa sighed and her face fell.</p><p>“Do you think we’re crazy?” Alyssa asked. “For trying?”</p><p>Emma frowned, thinking for a moment, then shrugged. “Maybe,” she muttered. “But you’re worth it. I’m crazy about you.”</p><p>Alyssa chuckled again. “I’m crazy about you too.”</p><p>Emma tilted her chin up and pressed her lips to Alyssa’s forehead, lingering there for a moment. “How are you feeling?” she asked. “Are you ready to head back inside?”</p><p>Alyssa hesitated a moment, then nodded. Emma stood up first and offered Alyssa a hand to help her off the ground.</p><p>“Come on,” Emma said. “We’ll get through the rest of this dinner together.”</p><p>Alyssa nodded, smiling at her girlfriend, and gently bumped her shoulder. They kept their fingers laced together and walked back inside the restaurant hand in hand.</p><hr/><p>Just before dessert, Betsy invited Veronica and Alyssa over to her house for pie.</p><p>Veronica wanted to decline. She had already upset Alyssa and embarrassed herself enough. But when Veronica saw the pleading, hopeful look on her daughter’s face, she couldn’t say no.</p><p>“We’d love to,” she said.</p><p>That was how they found themselves at the Nolan residence. Everyone had already eaten their fill of apple pie, so the adults sent Emma and Alyssa to the living room to watch some television while Veronica helped Betsy clean up in the kitchen.</p><p>They washed dishes in a tense silence. Veronica scrubbed the dishes in the sink while Betsy dried them and put them away. Betsy had been kind earlier, at the restaurant. Veronica wasn’t even sure what had come over her then. Surely, she should have assumed that Alyssa would want to go to school nearby Emma. She didn’t think it would happen, though.</p><p>Alyssa was still young. Veronica hadn’t met her husband until well after college, and even then, they never rushed into things. And even then… look how that turned out. In the grand scheme of things, two years was not a very long time at all. Surely Alyssa should know that. She raised the girl to be more sensible than this.</p><p>“How…” Veronica started, then hesitated, unsure of how to continue.</p><p>Betsy looked at her expectantly as she dried off a plate, but she said nothing, letting Veronica continue when she was ready.</p><p>“How are you just okay with all of this?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Betsy asked. She sounded like she already knew exactly what Veronica was asking, but just wanted her to say it out loud.</p><p>“I don’t know. This.” Veronica sighed, then found herself rambling. “Them planning their futures together even though they’re so young and there’s so much that could change or go wrong and I just don’t want Alyssa to invest all this time and energy into something that’s only going to break her heart in the end.”</p><p>Betsy smiled at her. “There it is.”</p><p>“I—“</p><p>“It’s okay, I get it,” she said. “It’s a worry that any sensible parent would have. The thing is, it’s Alyssa’s life. You can raise her however you want and teach her whatever you want, but she’s still going to do what she thinks is best. That’s the thing with kids. You never know how they’re gonna turn out.”</p><p>Betsy sighed. She stopped drying the plate in her hands and leaned against the counter.</p><p>“Wish I had known my son would turn out to be such a piece of—“ She cut herself off and shook her head. “Alyssa’s a bright kid. You don’t have to worry about her.”</p><p>Veronica smiled to herself. “I know,” she sighed. “Alyssa is brilliant.”</p><p>“And I know it’s impossible to know what the future holds, but if it’s any consolation,” Betsy put a hand on Veronica’s shoulder and gave a light squeeze, “Emma cares about her a lot. If I know my granddaughter she’s going to do everything in her power to never break Alyssa’s heart.”</p><p>Veronica placed her hand on top of Betsy’s and patted it in gratitude. “Thank you,” she muttered. After a moment, she sighed. “I don’t know why this is so hard for me,” she said to herself. “I don’t <em> want </em>it to be hard.”</p><p>“I know,” Betsy said. “Things take time, but you’re trying, and that’s what matters. It may not seem like much right now, but ten years from now when you still have a relationship with your daughter, I know Alyssa is going to really appreciate it.”</p><p>Veronica nodded and finished washing the last few dishes in silence, handing them off to Betsy to dry. After she finished and dried off her hands, she turned and waited until the last dish had been dried and placed in the cupboard.</p><p>“Betsy?” Veronica said. “Is it alright if I… give you a hug?”</p><p>Betsy stared at her for a moment, then laughed lightly and pulled Veronica into a tight embrace. “Of course, dear.” Veronica was surprised by the enthusiastic gesture and stiffened in surprise, but eventually relaxed and hugged back.</p><p>Veronica kept the hug short and sweet, but as she pulled away she sniffled and wiped away a few stray tears that threatened to spill. Veronica Greene did not cry in front of people.</p><p>“You’ve been very kind these past few months,” Veronica said. “More kind than I deserve, I think. But regardless, I’m grateful.”</p><p>“I think you deserve it,” Betsy said firmly, then headed toward the living room. “Come on, let’s go check on the girls.”</p><p>They walked into the living room to find the TV on mute, but that didn’t seem to matter because Emma and Alyssa were fast asleep on the couch. They both laid across it lengthwise, Emma against the back of the couch while Alyssa was at the edge. Alyssa was facing Emma, but her head was tucked under Emma’s chin. Alyssa’s hands had a light grip on Emma’s shirt, and Emma’s arm was loosely draped over Alyssa’s waist.</p><p>It was all so… innocent. Veronica couldn’t help the way her lips quirked up in a small smile, seeing her daughter looking so peaceful and comfortable. Who was she to get in the way of that?</p><p>She turned to Betsy. “Let’s leave them, shall we? They’ve had a long day.”</p><p>Betsy nodded and backed toward the kitchen once again. “I can teach you my famous chocolate chunk cookie recipe?”</p><p>“I would love that.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! This fic is really interesting to write, as hard as it is to get in Mrs. Greene’s head sometimes. I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are always appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>